Stewpid Saga: Part 1
by Pyro Zippiz
Summary: Hello! This fic is for people who are ABSOLUTLY insane. We warn those who are not. Adding a few character's in this fic, like Van, Hitomi, and Merle from Escaflone and some new saiyan named Lula, who claims to be betrothed to Vegeta! *Chp.4 up*
1. The Begining

Stewpid Saga Part 1  
Hi! This fic has been rightfully claimed as property of May-Veggiegirl1 (or in other words- Canned Roast Dolphin), eTRINITYs11 (Urban Blight Garden), and Kryti-Van who does not have access to the Internet. We pity her greatly. All of us, do not own DBZ. Sad, but true. Small chapter. R/R  
Some things are missed out. All of the Z fighters are whack-o. A while ago, an incident happened and everyone had temporary amnesia, except the prince of all saiyans, Vegeta. Vegeta thought of the most evil prank to pull and w/ his trusty video camera and his easily persuasive attitude. And when I say, everyone, I mean everyone on planet Earth. Vegeta gets Videl and Gohan married. The only thing is, nobody knows except Vegeta....  
~*~*~*~*~*  
Chapter 1: The Beginning  
Many years ago, long before planet Vegeta was destroyed....  
"Vegeta, please don't go to those far away planets, we'll be separated for ages! And worst of all, our marriage will be postponed till' were old! I just can't bear it!" Vegeta sighs. "We're only 7, Lula. Besides, do you think I don't know that already! I'll be back in a matter of years, it shouldn't take long." Vegeta starts to walk away. Lula chases him and cries. Vegeta push her away and gets in his pod. As his pod flies away, she sneaks on board another pod and takes off to follow him. She knows that one of his stops was planet Earth but, she didn't know that it was his 58th stop.... 


	2. Thier Present Time

Stewpid Saga  
Hehehe...We don't own DBZ. That's not what I was laughing at though.  
The Z fighter's had to go to school once and learned how to play bus ball. Bus ball is like football but a more difficult version. You'll see later if you're dedicated enough.  
~*~*~*~*~*  
Chapter 2: Their Present Time  
All of the Z fighter's have, once again, been required to attend school. This time, Bulma and Chi-Chi are the principles. Mr. Bradley is still the vice-principle. It was, yet, another assembly. Chi-Chi- "And that is why we don't urinate on the walls of the bathroom young men!" Goku looked down shamefully as Vegeta snickered. Krillin shook his head. 18 was sleeping. Bulma-"Wake up 18!" "Huh? What's going on?" Chi-Chi-"You, yet again, fell asleep during our lecture!" 18-"But you were talking about the guys!" Bulma-"Still, sleeping during classes is against the code of conduct." "Whatever." "Don't you 'whatever' me!" 18 snores. Chi-Chi got a bucket of ice water and dumped it on her. 18-"Not again! That's the third time this week!" Chi-Chi-"Then stop falling asleep!" "Whatever." Vegeta looks around and just happens to look out the window. ' What the...' He saw a familiar looking women that had long black hair and deep black eyes- like a bottomless pit. Then he realized who it was and his hand bolted into the air. Bulma-"What?" "Can I go to the bathroom?" "What was I just saying about that! All the guy's are suspended from using the men's room!" He glances back at her and, unfortunately, she see him and waves happily. "You're right! I guess I'll just go and be suspended from using the men's room! Bye!" He runs out the door. Everyone stares and blinks. Lula steps inside. "Where's Vegeta?" Sup. Kai-"He just left." "Vegeta!" She runs out the door. Vegeta accidentally runs into the girl's room. Lula runs in there. "Eeek! A GUY IN THE GIRL'S ROOM!!!" She starts beating the crap out of him, until he runs out. She went after him and finally realized that it was Vegeta. She gasps. "It's you! It's really you! I've waited so long for this day!" She hugs him extremely tight. "Too tight Lula...too tight!" He managed to squeak out from this emotional and physical discomfort. "Lula...lighten up on the choke hold...." "You can't even imagine how much I've missed you, Vegeta!" "I...can...imagine...."   
~*~*~*~*~*  
Hehehe...will Lula suffocate Vegeta? And what all this ' married bit about? Find out in the next chapter! 


	3. Meeting

Stewpid Saga  
Hello again! I'm back! We don't own DBZ.  
~*~*~*~*~*  
Chapter 3: Cat fight  
Bulma comes into the room. Lula focuses on a new aspect other than trying to cut off Vegeta's oxygen supply. "Vegeta, get back to the assembly!" "Who's that awful witch, Veggie? Do you know her?" Vegeta falls over (Anime style). "WITCH!!! I'll show you who's the witch! Vegeta, get to the assembly; I'll dispose of her!" Lula grabs onto Vegeta's arm and drags him and herself slowly away from Bulma. "Let's get out of here...I think she's a psycho...." "I heard that, you husband-stealer-Vegeta-fan!" "Me! Well I think you're a Veggie-wife-wannabe!" "I AM VEGETA'S WIFE!!! Right Vegeta?!?!" He glances at Lula and Bulma, staring and waiting for an answer. "...Please don't include me in this brawl...I don't do cat fights!" "Vegeta! It's a simple question! Am I your wife or not?" He just keeps glancing back and forth at them. "I don't have a say in this! This is your fight!" Lula-"Of course you have a say in this! You're a sayan; so just answer!" He glances back and forth some more (A/N: *yawn* Should I make his head get tired of glancing yet?). Vegeta- *grabs head* "STOP CONFUSING ME!!!" He runs out the door. Bulma-"...How confusing can that little obvious question be?" "Really! Everyone knows that I'm his wife!" "You really are a me wannabe!" "No, you're the me wannabe!" "You're the me wannabe!" "No, you are!" "You are!" "You are!" After a few minutes of death glare they both go off to find him, hiding in the assembly room.  
~*~*~*~*~* 


	4. Declaration

Stewpid Saga

We don't own DBZ. And were pretty sure that no one on fanfiction.net does. Kryti-Van got her internet! Yay! But I already started! No! But another friend's mom is working on SSP2! Yay! Was, I mean... No! ETRINITYs11 isn't too lazy 2 type it anymore! Yay! But, once again, I already started in my name & I'm the only one who remembers the book word 4 word. No!...Geez, that sucks.

  


IMPORTANT FACT 2 KNOW:

#1 Taipion is a saiyan...and...uh...she likes Raditz...and.........yeah...

#2 The Z fighter's are required to take school again because...they never went before.

That's all 4 this chapter. 

~*~*~*~*~*

Chapter 4: Announcement

  


Chi-Chi-"And now for more important information; Mr.Bradley has decided a perfect way to honor the attack on 9/11 by standing outside for a moment of silence that will commence until an act of nature strikes us down or we collapse of exhaustion or hunger. And we support our rule of 'Cannibalism is prohibited' very firmly in this event. Any questions?" Gohan raised his hand. "Yes?" 

  


Gohan-"Mom...what's the point of that?" 

  


Chi-Chi-"So we shall insure our safety of not being cursed and to die formally for the one's who died for us." Goten raised his hand. 

  


Goten-"Mom, can you translate that?" 

  


Chi-Chi-"We're sacrificing ourselves for people that sacrificed themselves for us." 

  


Everyone but Chi-Chi- *sweat drop* 

  


Chi-Chi-"Anyway, since Bulma hasn't come back yet, we are going to have to cut into everyone's block 3 class." 

  


Everyone but Chi-Chi-"Hooray!"

  


Chi-Chi-"Then we'll extend block 3 into your lunch and your lunch will be 2 minutes long." Goku screamed and fainted. He fell on Vegeta, who was already asleep. Chi-Chi took a bucket of ice water and dumped it on them. 

  


Goku-"Antidisastablishmenterrism!"

  


Vegeta-"Crazyevilwomenstalkingme!" Everyone laughs at them. Lula and Bulma come in. "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Crazyevilwomenstalkingme is back! AHHHHHH!" Vegeta flies out the closed window. Goku grabs his leg. 

  


Goku-"Vegeta, that's your wife!"

  


Vegeta-"No the other Crazyevilwomenstalkingme!" 

  


Lula-"I'm not crazy or evil!"

  


Bulma-"You stalk him!" 

  


Lula-"So? I have every right to!"

  


Bulma-"Yeah right!" 

  


Lula-"Do too! I can stalk him all I want because I'm supposed to marry him!" 

  


Bulma-"Well I AM married to him!"

  


Lula-"That's impossible!" 

  


Bulma-"Oh? How so?" 

  


Lula-"Because Vegeta's betrothed to me!" 

  


Bulma-"You're just saying that because you want to be betrothed to him!" 

(A/N: Do I smell denial?...Oh wait, that's just me... :PO = licking ice cream) 

  


Lula-"No, we've been betrothed before we were even born." 

  


Vegeta- *in fetal position, in the far corner, rocking back and forth* Stop...saying...evil...word...stop...saying...evil...word...."

(A/N: The evil word is...betrothed!) 

  


Bulma-"Liar!" 

  


Lula-"Are not!" 

  


Bulma-"Are too!" 

  


Lula-"Are not! Right Vegeta?"

  


Vegeta-"...oh...you mean little old me?...eh...he...he...." 

  


Bulma-"...this isn't true...is it Vegeta?" Vegeta puts his two fingers together. 

  


Vegeta-"Well...um...." 

  


Lula-" Yeah! Come on and tell her Vegeta!" 

  


Vegeta-"...Bulma...this is Lula. Lula, this is Bulma...." Bulma grows (A/N: Into a pink flower!) very impatient. 

  


Lula-"Who cares about who she is! Just tell me, Vegeta, is what she's saying true or not?" Vegeta cringes. 

  


Vegeta-".....................................true............................"

~*~*~*~*~* R/R

Woah! Vegeta's betrothed to Lula AND married to Bulma! That can't be good.... Next time, cracks on Vegeta's size, Piccolo in LOVE, and Bulma w/ hypnotic powers? Who makes up this crap?

  


A: No comment ^_~ 

REVIEW!!!!!

  



	5. Cat Fight

Stewpid Saga Part 1

Hi peeps! We don't own DBZ. Never will. Sad huh? Last time, Vegeta confessed to Bulma and the rest of the Z fighter's about him being betrothed to Lula.

  


IMPORTANT FACT 2 KNOW:

Vegeta Jr. in the Stewpid Saga part 1 & 2 is a cat Vegeta found and accidentally saved it's life. Now the cat is obligated to follow him around and hide in his hair, since it's completely black.

  


~*~*~*~*~* R/R

Lula- "Ha! See he's mine!" Vegeta snaps his head up.

Vegeta-"Are not!" 

  


Lula-"But Vegeta, you were born to marry me and become King!" 

  


Vegeta-"Well not anymore, since the papers on our planet we're destroyed along w/ Vegeta-sei! I don't have to do anything if I don't want to! And I don't want to have anything to do w/ you!" 

  


Bulma- "Hold on! Let me get this straight- your betrothed to her but you married me?!" 

  


Vegeta-"Yeah. But I thought she was dead, not to mention that I hate her rotting guts!" 

  


Lula- "I get it now! Don't worry my love, I'll save you!!!" Piccolo was just arriving to the gym. He saw Lula and his heart stopped (A/N: Or whatever he has...). Piccolo sneaks over to Dende. 

  


Piccolo-"Hey Dende, who is she?"

  


Dende-"That's Lula. I think she's a saiyan. She's betrothed to Vegeta." Piccolo gazes at her. 

  


Piccolo-"Lula...." Lula stroked Vegeta's hair. 

  


Lula-"I understand everything now! My poor, little Vegeta...." 

  


Vegeta-"I'M NOT LITTLE! Don't EVER call me little AGAIN!" 

  


Goku- "Lula, what did you mean by 'I'll save you'?" 

  


Lula-"Oh, it's Kakarot! Wow, you sure did grow up fast! You we're always such a cute 

baby!" 

  


Goku-"You knew me as an infant?"

  


Lula-"Of course Vegeta and I knew you as a baby!" 

  


Goku-"Vegeta's OLDER than me!?!?"

  


Vegeta-"Duh, you baka! Did you really think that I was younger than you?" 

  


Goku-"How much older?" 

  


Vegeta-"Eight years and still proud." 

  


Goku-"AND YOU'RE SMALLER THAN ME?!?! THAT'S SO FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Goku ROGLHAO. (=Rolls On Ground Laughing His Ass Off. Stupid people...:A/N) 

  


Vegeta- * face is red w/ anger and embarrassment * "SHUT UP BAKA OR I'LL..." 

  


Bulma- "Just answer Goku's question, Lula!" 

  


Lula-"Who's Goku?" 

  


Raditz-"Goku is Kakarot." 

  


Lula-"Oh...Okay...I'm going to save Vegeta from Bulma because she hypnotized him!" 

  


Vegeta- * sweat drop * "Is it possible for ANY common sense or logic to penatrait your skull, Lula?" 

  


Lula-"My poor Vegeta, being hypnotized by such an ugly creature!" 

  


Bulma-"I'll make you eat those words, Lula!" Bulma pounces on Lula and pulls at her hair. Lula scratches her and Bulma bites her hand. Bulma pushes her away and kisses Vegeta to make Lula even madder. Lula's face turned red. 

  


Lula-"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU...you...SLUT!!!" The entire gym was silent. 

  


Everyone-"Oooooooooo..." Bulma's face turned a beet red. Bulma pounces on Lula again. Gohan got an idea, took the fire extinguisher off the wall and sprayed them down. They got off each other.

  


Vegeta- "Do I have a say in this?"

  


Both women- "NO!"

  


Vegeta- "If it wasn't so important that Lula loses, I'd be enjoying having 2 girls fight over me..."

  


Oolong- "Lucky dog..." Master Roshi nodded in agreement. Videl sweatdropped & shook her head.

  


Videl- "Men. I swear..."

  


Lula- "This is stupid! I don't need to waste my time on a weak human! Come on Vegeta, were going!" She grabs him by the tail and flys out the open window.

  


~*~*~*~*~*R/R!

Hello! Sorry about ch. 4 & 5 earlier. I'm working on it.


	6. Mission Rescue Vegeta

Stewpid Saga Part 1

Hi again! Sorry for not updating in a while... SOME STUPID 7th GRADE BOY DESTROYED THIS FIC!!!! We had everything in this fic written down and on the LAST 5 PAGES, that MORON DESTROYED IT!!! Now that I've vented out my anger, on with the incredibly long Chapter 6!

  


IMPORTANT 2 KNOW:

Nothing 4 today!

  


*~*~*~*~*~ R/R!

Chapter 6: Mission- Rescue Vegeta

Before Lula had a chance to fly out the window with Vegeta, Bulma grabbed Vegeta's arm as they took off to the sky. Piccolo was all teary-eyed and Chi-Chi looked at her watch. 

  


"Will you look at that? Looks like our 2-minute lunch begins...now." The saiyans remaining in the room perk up and run to the cafeteria at full speed. Krillin, Tien, Dende, Chiaotzu, Chi-Chi, and Videl sigh and walk quickly/fly after them. Mr. Bradley barge's into the cafeteria. 

  


"What's going on here?!" Everyone screamed.

  


"AAAAHHHH!!! IT'S THE EVIL VICE-PRINCIPLE FROM HELL!!!!" Panic erupts.

  
  
  


Meanwhile, back with the female saiyan, saiyan hostage and human stow-away...

  


Bulma-"Vegeta! You can fly too! Why don't you get out of her grips and we can get away?!"

  


Vegeta-"Because...If you haven't noticed yet, she's holding me by my tail..."

  


Bulma-"But wasn't your tail trained to withstand pulls?"

  


Vegeta-"That was my last tail...the tail the fat bastard cut off...besides, I never trained it willingly..." 

  


Bulma-"Then how was it able to withstand being pulled?"

  


Vegeta-"Well...It had gone threw this act so many times...it created and immunity to it..."

  


Bulma-"What act?"

  


Vegeta-"What she's doing right now..." Lula was squeezing his tail to death singing-

  


Lula-"I've got Veggie's tail! I've got Veggie's tail! It's so cute and fuzzy and warm just like my sweet Veggie is! I've got Veggie's tail-tail-tail! I've got Veggie's tail! Yes, I do!"

  


Bulma-"But Vegeta..."

  


Vegeta-"Bulma just be quiet!...look she hasn't noticed you yet so just be still and hopefully she won't notice you...besides I don't feel like talking right now since all the blood's running to my head... and flying upside-down, with the ground moving fast underneath us, is not helping my vertigo..." She nodded silently.

  


20 minutes later they near a pink house in a random forest. Lula-"We're almost there Veggie!!" She flew low threw the trees.

  


Vegeta-"Women...the only way you can get off of me and still stay away from Lula...is to grab on to one of the tree branches..."

  


Bulma-"But Vegeta, I could fall!"

  


Vegeta-"That's a better chance to take than to get into a real fight with Lula..."

  


Bulma-"Alright...I'll do it."

  


Vegeta-"Safe landings Bulma..." She cautiously reached her free arm out and firmly grabbed a branch, and let go of Vegeta's arm. They flew on by and soon were out of sight.

  


Bulma-"Vegeta...I'll get over there and rescue you...just hand on..."

  


They stopped at the pink house. She dragged Vegeta inside, still by the tail, and tied him to a chair right side up. "How's that? Is my sweet Veggie comfy?" She noticed that he passed out from the sudden change from up-side down to right-side up. "Hm...well, at least this gives me time to make sure my silly Veggie doesn't try to leave me for that whore while under evil influence..."

  


Bulma finally made it down the tree and to the pink house. It had taken her a whole half an hour, and she just wanted Vegeta back and to go home. She peered into the window. It seemed Vegeta was tied to a chair, with his back facing to her. Lula was nowhere in sight. Perfect she thought. 

  


Vegeta slowly opened his eyes. Everything was blurry...and pink. How he despised that color. And yet, it fit Lula so perfectly. His head felt incredibly heavy, and he had the worst migrane. Things finally came into focus. And just as he thought he saw, everything in the room was pink. Vegeta noticed tht he was tied to a chair. Big deal. Without her strangling his tail, he could easily resist her. For that matter, where was she? He sniffed the air. Something was cooking. Great, she was going to make him something to eat that he doesn't even like. Her cooking was better than Bulma's...but at least Bulma made him something he would normally eat; Lula always managed to make his most hated dish and force him to eat it. He tried to break the rope when the sensors in the rope triggered a clamp to put the sqeeze on his tail and give him a minor jolt of electricity. 

  


Bulma tapped on the glass, hoping Vegeta would hear her- he had the best hearing out of anyone she ever met. Vegeta figitted then tried to turn his head in her direction. He smiled when he saw her then twitched, frowned, and turned his attention to a door.

"Oh Vegeta! Good to see your awake again! I made you something!"

"Lula! Let me go this instant!"

"Oh I will. Once you have all thoughts of that bitch out of your head. Now here, you need to keep your strength up. Have some!" Vegeta turned his head away.

"I 'm not hungry. I want out." Lula put the plate of food on a table, and sat down on the pink couch.

"Oh Veggie. Sometimes we all want things that we can't have because they're bad for us."

"I'm not a child, Lula! I do not need your lecture!!!"

"Well, if you want to be so stubborn and get on with it already, I guess I'll start." Lula pulled out a huge evil-giant-hammer-of-doom. Vegeta paled slightly and whimpered quietly.

"Lula...what do you plan to do with that...?"

"I plan to bring your mind back with this hammer. I think this is how she tricked you into thinking that you loved her instead of me! So I going to fix it!" She brought the hammer back...

~*~*~*~*~* R/R!

Omg...poor Vegeta, how evil can I be? ( very... ) XD 


End file.
